invoke you

I wake
With my fingers moving
Across the coarse cotton of the bed
Toward a notion of you.
 
Breathing deep
I dream your scent into being.
 
A longing
So utterly essential
No longer confined
Searches the sheets.
 
Wanting  nothing more
Or less
Than to invoke you.

a ghostly hollow

inside
 there is a space
 that aches
 of a ghostly hollow
 yet to come.

a future memory
 of a piece
 of myself
 yet to be vacant.

I struggle
 for stillness
 and simplicity
 in it all.

and
 I fail.

it takes some rain

there are joyful seeds
planted
before the rain.

 

and I sit
in wonder
of joy

 

while all I can do
is smell the storm.

 

I understand
rain feeds growth

 

But,
I cannot find the place
in me that
knows this.

 

I struggle to know.

 

And,
I know
that if I would only
cease the struggle,
the knowing would follow.